Image via SKY/HBO Max

Well, we couldn't have been more wrong. After weeks of theorizing, White Lotus has come to another nail-biting, tragic end that no one saw coming. I mean, the whole episode gave me raging anxiety. Let's dig in.

It turns out all Ethan and Cam had to do to solve their marital problems was sleep with each other's wives. Oh, and the scene where Daphne finds out about it all and plots her revenge within 10 seconds? Give Meghann Fahy her Emmy now.

Perhaps one of the biggest surprises of the night was discount Harry Jowsey -- AKA Jack -- deciding to spare Portia's life despite her outfit choices. And of course, she and Albie connect over their failed love attempts.

But, all good things must fall apart. Of course, Jennifer Coolidge's beloved Tanya character had to die in the most Tanya way. But not before finding out she's actually a pretty good shot. And might I add, there were steps RIGHT THERE. I'm putting in my personal request for Mike White to fit her into Season 3 somehow, as is rumored in Japan.

If you want to see how our editors completely missed the mark...read on!

With the White Lotus finale happening this weekend, we are certain of one thing only: anyone could die. Countless fan theories are swirling around the internet and it’s taught us that we don’t know who to believe anymore. Every White Lotus theory seems correct, but we know to expect the unexpected with this show.

Our editors have our theories, too:

This time last week I was convinced that it was over for Ms Tanya — and her little Portia too. But now I’m less sure. I — along with half the internet, so I can’t take credit — called the connection between Greg and the gays. The working theory: they were conspiring to kill Tanya for her fortune. However, Episode 6 revealed that they videotaped Tanya’s fab tryst with the Italian drug dealer. It seems Greg will use the tape to get Tanya’s money in the divorce. With this in mind, a murder plot seems superfluous. With the bag secured, there’s no ned for violence. I’m still putting a big pin in the gun in the bag though. Much to think about.

And so now I am left with these theories:

PSA: I don’t have TikTok so I feel like I’m missing out on valuable clues. Regardless, this is going to be so embarrassing come Monday when all my theories are wrong. Here’s what I’m thinking:

Also, can I get bonus points if Laura Dern shows up?

My roommate, Brynn, has sent me a plethora of White Lotus theories on the Tok and the theories make me feel like I haven’t been watching the same show. Granted, you would have to pause every single scene to know what’s happening here. But here are my most solid ones:

From an Apple Documentary, My Mind & Me, to her hit show, Only Murders in the Building, and headline-making appearances with Hailey Bieber.

The LA-based songwriter is the #ZackMorrisofRap.